we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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