K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
and she was petting her beer can
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I AM VODKA MAN
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
