just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
