I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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