New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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