Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
