butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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