Define "chronic" masturbator.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
