he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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