sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
