If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
