i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
