There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
