Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
