So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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