Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
