does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
