Swine flu. Run for my life!
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
