i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
