Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
All I want is dick and wine.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
