Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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