I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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