I hate your face
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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