I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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