I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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