im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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