he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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