Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
