I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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