I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
And my parents said I crawled through the house
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
