Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
