My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
