My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
