New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
