I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
