What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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