So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
