Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
