FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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