just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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