i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
