hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
