on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
