Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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