The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Randomize
