Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
