im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
