was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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