What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
