Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I know her cup size but not her name....
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