I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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