I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
