He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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