ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
